Shah Rukh – Gauri Khan The pleasure of his company
Roshmila Mukherjee
She has an identity of her own and it has nothing to do with showbiz. Meet Gauri Khan, who would rather be a fashion designer than part of a studio set. Right now, Gauri is alone - apart from her two dogs, Chewbacca and the tiny bundle of fur Rebecca. And she is in a state of agitation. She can't find her phone book and has to call the vet. He is supposed to give the dogs a shot and she is worried she missed him. She didn't. Breathing a sigh of relief, she switches on the air-conditioning, offers you chai/coffee/cold water and finally relaxes. Kicking off her leather slippers, she snuggles into a deep armchair and tosses back her long hair. Mrs. Shah Rukh Khan relaxes.
It's been two years since you moved to Bombay. Do you still feel like an outsider here?
At first I hated Bombay. I missed my family. I hardly knew anyone here. But now it's better, touch wood. I'm really enjoying myself.
Are you friendly with the film crowd?
Well, I accompany Shah Rukh to premieres and a few parties, but that's all. We don't have much contact with his producers and directors. We have our own circle of friends - like Dianne and Chikki (Chunky Panday's brother); we usually hang out with them. I don't even know what films Shah Rukh is working on at the moment.
How do you cope with his irregular working hours and long overseas shooting schedules?
He doesn't do too many films, so he's usually home before 10 pm. When he's doing the second shift, he doesn't leave the house until late afternoon. And Sundays are ours. As for location shooting, he hates it and so won't sign on to any film that has a long location shoot. I went with him to Switzerland. And to Mauritius, where I dragged Dianne along, and we had a great time. The 40-day schedule for Karan Arjun in Alvar was his longest time away from home. He didn't want to do the film at first. I went to Delhi and then visited him with my family for about 4 days. I was bored; I'm not one of those people who can sit in a hotel room watching TV all day.
And I'm not really interested in films. At home, we never talk about his work. I think if Shah Rukh ever sits down to watch a video of a Hindi film, I will switch off the TV. If he brings a script home, it will fly straight out the window. He has enough time on the sets for all that. A few producers drop in, usually when I am not there. I expect they will come more often once Shah Rukh sets up his office in the reception room. Shah Rukh is in the film business, I am not.
But you design his outfits.
Yes. That's the only time we talk about his work. He has very clear ideas about the look he wants, so a lot of his outfits can be attributed to him. I have been looking after his wardrobe since day one. I know something about that. My father works for an export company, I used to help out in his boutique. I took a course in textile designing at NIFTD, I plan to open my own boutique in the next six months, design my own wardrobe. I also want to get into paintings, antiques and knick-knacks.
What about modelling?
I did a few gigs with Dianne when I first came to Bombay. But I got bored pretty quickly. It wasn't my scene.
Ever thought of going into film?
Never, ever! I think it's the worst job in the world. No offer would be big enough to tempt me. I don't think I ever read a film magazine in Delhi. We would watch the occasional film, but that was it.
Is that why you were upset by Shah Rukh's decision to go into films?
It wasn't a sudden decision. He started on stage and went into television. Then his mother died, I think he had to break free, that's why he came to Bombay. He got some good offers but insisted that he would only move if I married him. He was afraid that the magazines would link him with his costars, that I would read all the rubbish and refuse to marry him. He was right. Anyway, since he was spending all the money he earned on travelling back and forth, I decided we might as well take the plunge. We had been friends for eight years but I was only 22 when we got married. If it hadn't been for the films, we probably would have married later.
How did your parents react to your decision to marry him?
He was not the man they would have chosen for me. We are orthodox Hindus and Shah Rukh is a Muslim. That was enough to put them off. Also, he wanted to act in films, which did not offer much security. They thought I was very naive, that he was fooling me. Eventually they changed their minds. We had a great wedding. There were ten days of dhol (drums), mehndi (henna), gana-bajana (songs) and parties. Shah Rukh does not believe in the concept of rituals or religion. I do not follow rituals either, but I believe in God, a supreme power. His mother too was not a very orthodox or religious person. She was very open, always spoke her mind and had a great relationship with her children.
What is his sister like?
Shehnaz is an introvert. She was very close to her parents, but after their deaths she became a little withdrawn. She spends most of her time in her room. Since she is not the type of person who interferes, it is not difficult to get along with her.
What is Shah Rukh's relationship with your brother?
Initially, Vikrant hated him. He is a very cool, laid-back boy, but whenever he saw Shah Rukh, he would see red. He was very possessive of me and would have murder in his mind every time he caught Shah Rukh looking at me. He would shout, "I will beat you to a pulp, I will beat you up." He is only a year and a half older than me and the threats must have annoyed Shah Rukh to no end, but since he was my brother, Shah Rukh just nodded and said, "Yes, yes, whatever you say."
I met Shah Rukh when I was in ninth standard and he was in twelfth. Vikrant met his girlfriend in the same year, the same month. It was fine for him to meet a girl, but I was not even allowed to dare to like Shah Rukh! It took Vikrant four years to accept Shah Rukh, when we got married, Vikrant also celebrated. He and his girlfriend also dated for about nine years and got married a year after us - in the same month, in October.
It is said that you separated from Shah Rukh for a year. Was Vikrant responsible for that?
Oh, that was in the beginning, when my family was still coming to terms with the fact that he is a Muslim. I didn't want to hurt my family, so I decided to break up with Shah Rukh. He became a little too possessive and I am a very independent person, I need space, Shah Rukh was constraining me. The pressure became too much, so I decided there was no point in continuing.
But Shah Rukh is very determined; he manages to get what he wants. And he wanted me. I remember the time when I broke up with him, I went to Bombay with some friends. For a week we had a great time partying and shopping. On the last day, when we were supposed to return to Delhi, I looked out the window and there he was, standing outside our house. My friends didn't stop telling me that I was crazy to let go of this boy who loved me so much. But at that moment, I hated him for following me all the way from Delhi.
He has always been very open about his love for you. Do you ever feel embarrassed about that?
No, why should it be embarrassing? Every man loves his wife, the only difference is that Shah Rukh is in show business and yet he doesn't mess around. It is a little hard to believe that this man doesn't talk about women and sex; he only talks about his wife. Even my parents are touched that even now that he is such a big star, he is still so gentle with me. They know he is not faking it, but others refused to take him seriously when he said he loved me. A magazine wrote about how he and Deepa Sahi were locked in a room together and Shah Rukh marched into her office with a gun and smashed skulls and tables.
Did he react so violently because you were upset?
I didn't react at all. I knew that wasn't true. Deepa likes her husband so much. I didn't say a word. But Shah Rukh can read me like a book. He didn't want me to cry over something that was just someone's imagination. It really upset him. He couldn't sleep for three nights.
How do you deal with his tantrums?
The only time I saw him lose his temper was at Subhash Ghai's party. I didn't like his violent reaction even though it was the other guy's mistake. I tried to appeal to him, pulled him away. Normally he is a pretty cool person, he only gets angry when someone messes with him. I am the one who always shouts and rants. Shah Rukh is such a messy person. He would leave his clothes lying everywhere; take the dogs to bed, that is enough to trigger a tantrum in me. But though I try to be strict, it doesn't have much effect.
Even my maid doesn't take me seriously. Recently, some people questioned her, "Memsaab kaisi hai? Daant ti hai kya?" She was aghast, "Woh bahut achchi hai, she never shouts at me." That is not true. If she doesn't do her job properly, I'll fire her. I'm a pretty good housekeeper, but a terrible cook. I hate cooking; all I can manage is some simple Indian dishes.
Why does Shah Rukh refuse to do photoshoots with his film heroines for magazines?
He hates doing photoshoots, even alone. He thinks it is a waste of time. If the magazines want to write something about him and a costar, they don't need to make him do a photo session anyway. They can always use a photograph. For this story about an affair between him and Juhi, they used a picture from Darr. And he went and smashed her office.
I have learnt to deal with these stories now. I trust Shah Rukh and have a great relationship with most of his colleagues. We spent 10 carefree days in London with Kajol, Tanuja aunty and Shilpa (Shetty). We saw all the shows in the city, went shopping. I would die before I suspected him of having an affair.
What about his fans, the college girls who yearn for him? Doesn't that bother them?
Surprisingly, not. Shah Rukh gets a lot of calls from women and many of them want to talk to me when he's not around. Fifty percent of his fan mail is about me. I think they have accepted me as a part of his life because he talks about me so much.
You mean there was never anyone who cursed or abused you?
Well, I don't listen to all the messages on the answering machine. But yes, once when we were in the United States for a show, we met one of his craziest fans. This guy was calling us about 5,000 times a day and that's no exaggeration. Shah Rukh met him once but obviously that wasn't enough for him. He wanted Shah Rukh to come to his house and meet his family. We tried to tell him that it wasn't possible but he wouldn't accept it. So one day I gave him a piece of my mind and he just exploded. He cursed me and I laughed. It was quite a riot. When we returned, he got our number and called to apologise. He still calls but now he only asks for me.
Has success changed Shah Rukh?
As far as I am concerned, he is my husband, not a star. The day I start treating him like a star, our marriage will be over. I am happy for his success. On the other hand, I always knew he would be successful. Shah Rukh is a successful guy. Ninety-nine percent of the time he gets what he wants. He is very confident. Whenever I mean confidence, I think of Shah Rukh. And because he was so sure that he would be successful, it didn't go to his head.
And if his films start flopping? Can he handle failure?
I think he faced his biggest failure when he couldn't prevent his mother's death. A part of him went with her. No loss could have been greater. He will never be a completely happy man again. I think as far as his films are concerned, he will be very unhappy if a film he has really worked on fails. But he also knows when a film has not done well. If a film like King Uncle, in which he didn't have much to do, fails, it doesn't affect him. For his sake, I hope his films are successful or he will lose the respect of his fans, otherwise his work doesn't really affect me.
Do you like the films he does?
I like what he is doing now. The films have more class, are less crass. Thank God he doesn't do all those crazy dances that are now a must in every film. I am told that the masses love them but in Baazigar there were no dances with tawdry lyrics or obscene gestures and yet it was a big hit. I liked Baazigar, Darr and Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa.
People think that a Baazigar where a girl is thrown off the terrace cannot set a very good example for children.
If some people think so, they should not let the children watch the film. I think children should not watch too many films, but unfortunately they watch them all the time.
When do you plan to start a family?
When I feel I'm ready. Maybe in two years.
Shah Rukh's almost overnight success must have earned him many enemies.
When you are successful, some colleagues get jealous and because of that they start hating you. This is inevitable, he will be able to cope with it.
They don't fit the industry's concept of a star wife, draped in a pallu, who whiles away her time partying and buying diamonds.
But I'm not just a wife; I'm a human being first. I don't see why I have to conform to the circumstances. If they want Shah Rukh, they have to deal with him on a one-to-one basis, his personal life has nothing to do with his profession. I know they are surprised by my reticence, the way I dress. But come on, I'm only 24. I got married when I was 22, I don't think any girl of that age wears a sari. Maybe I'll wear one when I'm 30, maybe not. Even the fact that I'm attending Shiamak Davar's classes upsets them. I can see them thinking, 'How can Shah Rukh Khan's wife go to Shiamak's classes? What is she doing there?' Simple. His dancers are very fit, they have phenomenal bodies. I want to have a good body too. I'm not a very good dancer, in fact I'm by far the worst in the class, but I participate religiously every night.
Do you often go to discos?
We used to, but not anymore. After a year, we finally got our own house and now I don't like leaving it. Unlike many boring husbands, Shah Rukh is great company. I can still talk to him for hours. He is always busy. Running after the dogs, playing video games, clicking on silly things and talking like a waterfall. He is so childish sometimes. And so full of surprises.
For my birthday, he always organizes surprise parties, showering me with gifts and cakes. For our anniversary recently, he surprised me with a gold bracelet. He had hidden it in the car and at midnight on the stroke of midnight, he rushed out, took out a fancy package and presented it to me in the middle of the party in all solemnity and style.