War and Peace – The Making of Shah Rukh Khan
anuradha choudhary
Right now, his attention is focused on his child. Every time Aryan comes by, the Dreamz office gets noisy. Dad and son chatter nonstop. Dad asks, "Who bombed the WTC?" "Fundamentalists," comes the prompt reply. "What makes people evil?" "Circumstances," replies the child.
Then we drive down to Carter Road to drop his son off at Mannat, where Gauri is busy with Aryan's friends.
It's true, being around Shah Rukh Khan is disorienting. I feel as if a thousand eyes are watching me. Not me, of course, but him. I notice how comfortable SRK is with the admiration.
Back in his office. He skims through the foreign media's reviews of Asoka. His cheeks turn red, his eyes are like Remy Martin. Those eyes turn to me. And I ask:
Well, how do you feel now that Asoka is out?
To be honest, I'm still numb. The whole process of making a film has numbed me. I think it will take me a few days to register anything. Everything is still so fresh.
How relevant is Asoka in today's times?
It is as relevant as say Jodi No. 1 or Kyo Kii Main Jhuth Nahin Bolta. Frankly, I don't know why films are made or how relevant they are.
What about the ongoing war?
I am not saying that both Osama Bin Laden and George Bush will reform after watching the film. Yes, Asoka is about peace. Here is a man who understood the futility of war so well. Asoka is called the Great not because he won the Kalinga War, but because he left the path of violence. His message is timeless.
Asoka has received a lot of critical acclaim in India and abroad.
Yes. You should have seen the reaction at the Venice Film Festival. Karisma, Kareena, Juhi, Jai and I were there. Nobody knew us there. So nobody really cared about us. But once they saw the film, they were so excited about us. We got a standing ovation. They wouldn't stop clapping. It was an overwhelming experience though.
Is it true that you showed the film to Steven Spielberg?
No. I don't know who started that rumour. He was in Venice to show his film. I have no idea if he saw Asoka. Nor did we show the film to the Japanese Prime Minister. The film wasn't even ready when we went to Japan. We went there to explore the market there. Apparently they love Indian films.
The verdict is out. The film has received a lukewarm response. What do you think?
At least I have had the satisfaction of trying something different, something new. There is a rhyme in Urdu that captures my state of mind. Roughly translated, it means that he who rides with the wind is sure to fall, but he who crawls, what a fall will be his.
Every time a Shah Rukh Khan film is about to release, the expectations mount. Are you stuck with the pressure?
Sometimes I really wonder why I am singled out. There are other actors who have done the same stuff and nobody seems to mind them. But if I were to do the same, I would be harshly criticised. Now I know it's because people love me so much. You expect something from someone you know can deliver. Someone you love. Just like I have expectations from my son.
What do you think is the price of fame?
As far as I'm concerned, the price of fame is not the fact that it's a problem to walk down the street... or that my private life is public. For me, the price of fame is that people love me too much.
And the only way I can repay them is to be honest in my work. Not to disappoint them. I don't think anyone can get mad at my films. Because they can see the honesty in my eyes.
I'm like a circus monkey who will roll on the ground, do somersaults and jump through flaming hoops. I'll invent new tricks. I'll do anything to entertain people.
What is the secret of your appeal?
That I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't calculate or manipulate. I never think that I am Shah Rukh Khan. I have no problem going out on the streets to sell my film. I even wanted to sell The Making Of Asoka book door to door. Juhi and Aziz (Mirza) stopped me saying that it would not be right.
Nobody treats me with reverence. I am not Mr Khan to my fans. I am simply Shah Rukh. There is a oneness with them, that is my appeal.
I am arrogant about my acting. But I humbly wish that people come and see me. Sometimes I feel like a little kid at a party, tugging at the pants of an elder to make him pay attention to him and his work of art. It may be nonsense but you cannot break the child's heart by telling him it is trash. I think I haven't lost my naivety of wanting to be seen.
And...
I am neither too innocent nor so corrupt that nothing can corrupt me. I have never worried about success or doing the right thing.
Right now, I am not trying to get bigger. I am content to be big. I am not trying to be cooler. I am content to be cool. I am not trying to be more successful. I am content to be successful. That does not mean that I have lost my competitiveness. That will always be there. But frankly, I have no competition today. What more could I want?
I have the biggest hits under my belt, I have endorsed the best products, I have hit songs and I have a bag full of good films. I have worked with top actors. I have everything, I am the best.
You really believe that, don't you?
I have gone far to be the best. I know nobody can match my love, my passion for films. I am not against any actor. I am just stating a fact. There is a sense of pride in knowing that I can get it right. At the same time, I am not a mystery. I am just an ordinary guy who was lucky enough to become a star.
When I look around, I see actors content with so little. All they want from life is a Mercedes or a big house. I am greedy, but in the right way.
I am like Osho. I am not turned on by a 365 BMW or a palace. Nothing material can give me the satisfaction that I get from getting that one expression right on screen.
There is a scene in Asoka where I am hurt and I am speaking. I was holding my breath. Then I let my breath out and the blood was oozing out of my nose. The look I have on my face is worth a million dollars. Probably no one will even notice this scene. But for me, it is sheer bliss. I have surpassed even myself.
Today, it is a battle with myself. I truly believe that no actor can match me. Be it my simplicity or my extreme passion for the work. There was a time when I wanted to act like other actors. I wanted to be the Amitabh Bachchan of Zanjeer. When I saw Aamir in Ae kya bolti tu, I wanted to do that. I wanted to jump from the 30th floor like Akshay Kumar. I wanted to dance like Govinda. But now I have reached a stage where I want to be myself. Now my only aim is to act like Shah Rukh Khan.
What's next?
For too long, I have received a lot of love and admiration from my fans. I know I can't repay them. But I want to give them something as a token of my gratitude. And I think the only thing I can do is make films for them. I want to give them back everything they have showered on me. A giver is always greater than a taker.
Is there anything you know now that you didn't know five years ago?
No, no. I'm like a frog in a well. I like my world. I'm content to look at the world from my well. I don't want to know anything I don't already know. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to lose my innocence.
Remember the guy who came to Mumbai from Delhi with dreams in his eyes?
Of course. I have made money, made a name for myself. I have a house. Now I have two kids. Sometimes I feel strange when my kids run around the house calling me. I think who are those little voices calling me 'daddy'. Apart from that, everything is exactly the same.
I look at my life like a book. And the people I love are like rose petals between the pages. Every time I turn a page of my life, I find a petal that makes me think of beautiful memories.
Are you comfortable with the idea that you are a role model for the youth?
(Laughs) If I am a role model, I have to be the worst in the world. Because I smoke and drink. I am ambitious. I believe in throwing caution to the wind. I want more out of life. I think as long as you remember to pray and be a good person, you should live life the way you want.
My only advice is to embrace life with open arms. There is so much to do. I want to do all of that and more. I believe that everyone has a finish line. But most people die before they reach that line. I want to reach that line and see what happens. When I go to God and he asks me what I have done, I want to ask him to ask me what I have not done.
Aren't you always busy?
Maybe. Once I read a story about two friends, say Rompu and Gopu. Rompu leaves the village. He is me. He goes to the city, makes a name for himself. Earns a lot of money. Then he returns to his friend Gopu. They sit under a tree and he tells Gopu all that he has achieved. Gopu asks him what he wants to do now. And he replies, "Now I want to sit in the shade and rest." Then he asks Gopu what he has done with his life. And Gopu remarks, "I have been sitting under the tree and resting."
Well, who knows, maybe this chase is futile. But still I want to run, run, run.