Jitesh Pillai
To the untrained eye, he appears to be in the midst of an epileptic fit. Flailing his limbs, roaring, twisting his face into faces that make Johnny Lever's performances look harmless.
Say hello to Peter Pan, aka Shah Rukh Khan, who is dubbing dialogue for one of his films under production.
That explains the facial gaffe.
At 32, he still seems like an excited child, lost in the maze of a toy shop. He himself tells me, "When I was a teenager, a guy in his thirties was an 'uncle' to me. And look at me. See how I dress and act. I am still five years old at heart. That helps me while I act. To be an actor, you have to be like a child. Remember how we were as kids, so uninhibited and non-judgmental at all. That attitude helps even when you are acting; They are devoid of all complexes, all inhibitions.”
But first things first. SRK has just become a father to a beautiful baby boy, whom he plans to name Aryan.
It is only too obvious that he is delighted. His brown eyes sparkle happily. He says, "I hope Aryan will look like my father when he grows up. He was such a handsome man."
And will he be as good a father to his son? "I will be a better parent to my son than my parents were to me. They died too young, they left me alone. But I will always be there for my son."
With a smile, he adds, "My baby will be a great flirt. I think he even winked at the nurses in Breach Candy Hospital where he was born. I hope my child turns out to be a great badmaash (rogue). Just like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. But even if he turns out to be well behaved, that's okay with me. My son has to be honest and respect his elders. That's all I expect from him.
Frankly, I hated myself when I saw Gauri going through all those labor pains. In the last 13 years that I have known her, she has never been sick. And now she had to go through those painful labor pains because of me.
Although everyone says my son looks like me, I think he is a carbon copy of Gauri. He won me over immediately, he even talks to me. I will tell my son to grab all the opportunities he can, not to wait for them to knock. And when he grows up, I will flirt with all his girlfriends. That's for sure."
SRK's expression changes from childlike to stony, his tone from exalted to belligerent, depending on the mood of the conversation.
His last release Dil To Pagal Hai has been reluctantly declared a success. The film elicited mixed reactions from critics. He starts off, "It makes me sad when people react negatively to a film. The fact is that DTPH is a huge success and not a single distributor will lose money, in fact it will make quite a bit."
SRK makes another rant, "Self-appointed trade sages say my films do not do well abroad. What rubbish! How come they take no notice of the fact that DTPH has collected Rs. 1.5 crores in its first week in Birmingham.
I think it is people's reactions to a film that become a cliche. Everyone wants to pigeonhole films to find predictable reasons for the success or failure of a film.”
That Dil To Pagal Hai was ruined by poor characterisations does not impress this Khan. He fires off yet another salvo, “I think critics confuse characterisation with the idea of unity of time, setting and plot. What does it matter where I live or who my parents were? DTPH was a film about love and its myriad emotions. It was not a hum aur hamare bache (us and our child) kind of family drama.
Then some others complained that there were no conflicts or problems in the film,” SRK observes and retorts, “My only answer to that is: isn’t love the biggest problem today? Love makes you selfish. It causes so much heartache and stomachache; it is the root of so many whirlwind relationships. Look at those moments in DTPH that will rip your heart out. Like the scene where I hold Karisma and tell her that it is not her fault or mine that I don't love her. It is God's fault. I thought it was beautifully done.
Even the scene where I sarcastically say to Akshay Kumar that Madhuri Dixit would leave us all and go away had so much pathos. And I also loved the dialogue where Karisma says, 'Maine Mohabbat ko dosti ka naam de diya, tum aisa mat karo.' Wasn't that real? Doesn't that happen to all of us when our love is not reciprocated?
And after all that, someone actually asked me, 'Arre, why did Akshay Kumar get the title song?' Can you believe it? That's how small minds work here. The thought of me not doing the title song didn't even cross my mind."
SRK angrily defends Dil To Pagal Hai. He claims, "I like Yash Chopra's attitude. He finished the film within the stipulated time; he made the film with love. At least he is not as self-indulgent as some directors who drag a paper-thin script for three to five years. None of us are making The Ten Commandments."
After DTPH, does he want to return to the light-hearted and accomplished roles of Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge? Ask him this and he blurts out, "I am fed up with love stories. I don't believe in them. Yash Chopra is one of the best at love stories. Now that I have worked with a master like him, what else can I do? I don't mean to sound complacent but it is a fact that I prefer fast-paced films like Men in Black to a mawkish While You Were Sleeping."
At a breakneck pace, SRK continues, "We don't play characters in our films anymore. We play puppets. We dance, sing and cry, all within three hours. We do the most unbelievable things and hope they will look believable on screen.
I hope this doesn't sound like a lame excuse but I am an entertainer, not a postman delivering messages. Sometimes I kill in the film, sometimes I elope with the girl... I have even thrown her off the terrace. The concept is to grab the audience by any means possible. I am a salable exhibit; I have to convince the buyer to take me home. But one thing is for sure - my performances are real. It's just larger than life realism."
Sipping on his favourite cola, SRK elaborates, "My driver should like the kind of films I make. His opinion is of interest to me.
I am a product of the 90s. Call me a success-oriented salesman, an entrepreneur or whatever. I will do whatever it takes to make my film a marketable product.
Ram Jaane spoke to a specific target audience. Similarly, Dil To Pagal Hai spoke to people on a different level. It would be foolish to think that every time we make a film, we will make all 800 million viewers happy."
Since the topic of DTPH is hot, the conversation keeps revolving around it. SRK continues, "Mansoor Khan told me that he has to match these standards after watching DTPH. I think we have made quality cinema with DTPH. You wouldn't dare call the visual look, the sets, the costumes and the performances mundane, right? Isn't it considered one of the top five films of the year? Isn't that great in itself? How many films released this year can boast of as many beautiful scenes as Dil To Pagal Hai?
Our aim was to tell the audience, enjoy yourselves. We hoped our ideas matched theirs. If they did, great. If not, sorry, we will have to try harder next time. We did not make DTPH to please pseudo-intellectuals or critics. If anything, DTPH has raised the standards for filmmakers.
Another reaction was that I did not give the usual Shah Rukh Khan performance. For God's sake, will someone tell me what 'the usual Shah Rukh Khan' performance is all about? I think I will be damned if I do it and I will be damned if I don't. Sometimes it is said that I am repetitive and over the top in my films. At other times I am accused of being reticent... now it annoys me that I was too reticent. Spare me! It is the reactions and expectations of some people that become cliched and repetitive.”
SRK claims that he will be able to break free from the stereotype of roles only when he directs his own kind of films after a few years. But he will not act in them. Still laughing, he rolls his eyes and says, “When I do films, actors who are luckier than me will be lucky to work under my direction!”
The dubbing is over. Another star drops by the studio. When celebs meet in public, they behave like high school students who bump into each other at a fair. Then, not surprisingly, the two stars are engaged in a chit-chat of mutual interest. After that,
we rush to his house in his car. We talk about SRK’s project with Aamir Khan, directed by Rajkumar Santoshi. The script of the film is yet to be finalised. SRK muses, “It will be interesting to work with Aamir. If he is a thoroughbred, I am a mongrel. Since he is so serious and I am so flippant, it promises interesting results. I will learn some of his views and self-examination. From me he will learn to loosen up, to relax."
I goad him that every interview in a fan magazine will be about how he loves his wife and dog (strictly in that order). The consummate chatterbox says, "I don't think it's cool to have affairs. I will never be caught with my pants down. I get all my satisfaction from acting.
I cannot flirt with my film heroines. I have an asexual relationship with them. They are like my friends and that is why we are so comfortable in front of the camera even when we are doing the most intimate scenes. That is why I love working with Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla. When we shot that Kehdo mujhse pyaar nahin karti scene in DTPH, Madhuri and I captured the nuances of the scene so perfectly. Through Anjaam, Koyla and DTPH, Madhuri and I are connected. I truly consider her one of the best actresses I have worked with.
With Juhi too, in that scene in Yes Boss where I blow on a speck of dust in her eyes, we just melted into the frame. I know we will never be able to recreate those scenes. Working with Madhuri and Juhi has been like a lifelong dream come true. I really miss them when I'm not working with them... more so when I'm doing films with other disinterested stars and smart alecks who have already started thinking they're actors."
Tricks are not part of Shah Rukh Khan's repertoire. He has consistently avoided the lures of fame, such as selfishness and vanity.
But the other trappings remain. Like a flashy Mercedes and a mansion. He parries again, "But that's all. The house and the car are my only weakness and I should be allowed to enjoy them. Otherwise, I'm as uncomplicated as I was when I was 10. I don't interfere with my director's work, I get a headbutt from my wife if I act romantically or funny... and I'm also the best actor in the country. You can't shake that."
With these words, he runs off to the inner sanctum of his house to play growing up with his young son.
But for our sakes, let's hope this Peter Pan never grows up. Because then our no man’s land would never be the same again.