The great communal divide
Oscar Wilde once said, 'Religions die when they prove true. Science is the record of dead religions.'
Today, exactly one hundred and one years after Oscar Wilde's observation, people all over the world are still fighting over religion. Science has not really managed to prove the great thinker right.
After the recent release of Mani Ratnam's 'Bombay', this unfortunate truth has come into sharp focus again. The film portrays the age-old bitterness between the two communities and yet does not condone it. Rather, 'Bombay' beautifully portrays the love between the lovers belonging to different communities who, against all odds, marry and make their marriage a success.
The response to the film was tremendous. Even before the film was released, there was an indignant outcry from people from both communities to ban the film. Both groups expressed their tremendous antipathy to a Hindu-Muslim union. It was dismaying. Viewers in the 1990s rebelling against marriage? Simply because the man and the woman believed in different religions? Unbelievable.
But the fact remained that the debate was not just about marriage. It was about life and love. That is precisely why we took this as a topic to delve into and find out if there was a solution to this confusion. And what better example of secularism could we present than the film industry? A place where there have been countless Hindu-Muslim weddings and all the couples have lived happily ever after. And, needless to add, they have all been love marriages. We hope this article serves as an eye-opener for all those who still believe that love should be limited by barriers.
Because love surely conquers all. Ask Shah Rukh about Gauri Khan. And discover her innermost feelings. Maybe then we will all be able to love better. Beyond the boundaries.
The relevance of religion. And the need to divide us into Hindus and Muslims.
Religion is important. But when it starts creating a divide between two communities, it becomes equally dangerous. It then loses its relevance. If you look, you see that basically every religion has its own charm. And somehow every religion preaches the same norms. So who are we to declare that this one is better than the other? I have never reacted to a person based on their religion. I admit that I have seen this kind of behaviour from many people. But these are very superficial people. And I would rather not be associated with them. The Muslims in India are probably the safest place to live. I don't think they consider themselves outcasts. Of course there are certain exceptions, but then for their sake, you can't just generalise. I wouldn't be wrong if I said that the political system has done nothing over the years to build a bridge between the two communities. At every opportunity, we have all been used and manipulated to their liking. But I am quite sure that if there is to be any change, it will only come from the common man. Today, the common man on the street does not want all this. Who wants to live in the midst of tension? And I think that change is slowly creeping in. People from both communities are beginning to realise their mistakes.
Your initial experience. How did you cope with the divide?
The atmosphere in which most of us grow up is very stifling in some ways. The milieu around us does not allow us to form our own opinions until a much later age. When I was a child, I often faced some hurdles in the beginning when it came to interfaith friendships. But as I grew older and realized that this divide was simply unnecessary, I simply rebelled against the system. After that, some of my best friends were Hindus. We have remained in touch for years and there has never been any tension between us. Because we simply treat each other as individuals, not as representatives of two different communities. But I admit, somewhere inside there has to be a barrier. Maybe we are not aware of it; maybe it will never affect us. But I know it is there. That is why I try to avoid any confrontation as far as these sensitive issues are concerned. I think it has a lot to do with how a person was brought up.
The decision to marry outside the community. The problems, the tensions, the enmities. The bloody aftermath.
My wedding to Gauri is probably the best example to prove how secular I am. I admit it was not easy. There were many problems when we took the plunge. But I think a love marriage, whether within or outside a community, has its share of problems. Probably because as Indians we have been conditioned to marry girls approved by our respective families. I will never be able to forget my wedding. Because I got married twice. Once according to Hindu tradition and the second time in a registry office. I didn't really like the idea of getting married in such a lavish way. But Gauri wanted it that way. Finally I gave in, also because I felt it was not much to ask if it made someone I loved happy. And then I realised that you don't get married every day either. It is a special occasion, so you should make it a memorable event. I don't deny the fact that I faced quite a few hurdles. For example, a certain Muslim group thought I was doing the wrong thing by marrying a Hindu girl. So they came to my house with morchas. But I didn't let all that affect me or my marriage. When you decide to do something, you have to have the courage to stand by it. And I stood by the woman I loved, despite all the differences. Whom I will always love.
The different lifestyles. Did that affect the relationship?
The differences are inevitable. But not because we belong to two different religions. The differences are there only because we are two different people. Their likes and dislikes are different. And it would have been no different if she was a Muslim or if I was a Hindu. You see, the difference between people from two religions only appears when the background they come from is different. If the guy is very outgoing and the girl is extremely conventional, then problems are bound to arise. Maybe there were some minor peculiarities; maybe I never paid any attention to them. But I think Gauri and I are mature enough to understand the situation and when the need arises, to find a compromise. Either she gives in or I do.
The role of the industry in trying to bring the two communities together.
Cinema is a very powerful medium. Over the years, you have seen directors trying their best to ease the tensions between the two communities. Now, whether they are really doing it or are simply trying to cash in on people's feelings is irrelevant. Yet the fact remains that films have never created barriers between Hindus and Muslims. I admit that our filmmakers really tend to go too far at times. So much so that it starts to look forced. And then the whole exercise is wasted. There is also the risk of a backlash. But I think on the whole, our makers are putting in a lot of effort to deliver the message of peace.
Can love overcome barriers?
Love is probably the only medicine that can cure this suffering. Because it is the only state of mind in which you have no desire to do anything wrong, to hurt anyone. It is the purest of all emotions.